Here are some funny one liners to make you laugh: 1. That reminds me of another one I heard: I want to go skydiving before I die. What is in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers. 11 Clean One Liner Jokes. If women were boogers, Id pick you first. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one. funniest ever jokes and best one. The wife smiles, and says Thank you, that means a lot. Lance is an uncommon name nowadays. Hilarious Comebacks Youll Wish You Knew Before. The best funny one-liners Shutterstock Going to church doesnt make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 105 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds “My phone will ring at 2am and my wife’ll look at me and go, “Who’s that calling at this time?” I say, “I don’t know. He was so good, I don’t even care. I had a dream about being a muffler. 109 Funny Puns You Cant Help But Smile At — Best …. What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common? Theyre both Paris sites. Extremely Funny One Liners – Best One Liner Jokes in 2023. My friends keep pressuring me to go spelunking, so I finally caved. 36 Witty & Wacky Icebreaker Jokes To Tell At Your Next Meeting. 105 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds “My phone will ring at 2am and my wife’ll look at me and go, “Who’s that calling at this time?” I say, “I don’t know. 105 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds My phone will ring at 2am and my wifell look at me and go, Whos that calling at this time? I say, I dont know. The other day I bought a thesaurus, but when I got home and opened it, all the pages were blank I have no words to describe how angry I am. [sobbing] I dont have any goddamn thumbs! Now jack me off, you piece of shit!. Its never a good idea to keep both feet firmly on the ground. Now get ready to make some memories filled with laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes! What falls, but never needs a bandage? The rain. — ciprex 02 of 24 Well, Well, Well, Very Funny Via Getty Images/Arsenio Marrero. Short jokes for kids What did the man say to his fingers? I’m counting on you. When somebody says that you are. Funniest One Liners Ever HeardExplanation: “No joke” has a double meaning here. What did the grape say when it got. Best Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. They often get worked up and dive into silly topics, but this one point of view that Wayne felt the need to mention is particularly memorable. Pap Smear: Making fun of Dad Pathalogical: A reasonable way to go Pharmacist: Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis Post Operative: A letter carrier Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery Rectum: Almost killed him Red Blood Count: Dracula Secretion: Hiding something Seizure: Roman Emperor. Groucho Marx and his brothers had an unmatched flair for comedy. 50 One-Liners from Stand-Up Comedy Legends / Purple Clover Classic jokes that still stand up Classic jokes that still stand up Purple Clover Relationships Marriage Sex Dating Memoirs Family. Reply 9 69ingJamesFranco • 9 yr. 109 Funny Puns You Cant Help But Smile At — Best Life. Why was the baby ant confused? Because all his uncles were ants. They’re also a great way to get a chuckle out of kids. Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. One liners are great. ” — @BHGolfEquipment ————————- 40. Welcome to All Things Foolish™ Daily Comedy Broadcast series featuring Comedy Vignette #118 which is your number one source for funniest one liner, funniest. “Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. 1) “Have you ever noticed… [fill in with something you find interesting or funny. What did one plate whisper to the other plate? 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Music legends with some of the best old hound dogs they ever did know Puppy Love: The 25 Greatest Dogs in Pop Culture History Icons of classic films and TV, from Toto and Lassie to Uggie and a British beagle made entirely of clay. 40 Of Probably The Best One. Which day do potatoes fear the most? Fry-days. One of the classic best one liners. What did one plate whisper to the other plate? Dinner is on me. A man goes in to his doctors for an exam and the doctor says, Well, I have good news and bad news. 109 Funny Puns You Cant Help But Smile At — Best Life. (… Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke. I finally found a book on how to solve half my problems. All rated by visitors and sorted from the best. Groucho Marx and his brothers had an unmatched flair for comedy. It is confirmed that taller people sleep longer. So a few years go my friend got viral meningitis, a swelling of the meninges that can easily kill you. The Stupidest Thing I Ever Heard In My Life Is That A Baby Is Smart. “What is worse than ants in your pants? Uncles” – Unknown 3. Always remember that youre unique, just like everyone else. We recently asked our @CaddieNetwork Twitter followers to share with us the funniest lines or jokes theyve ever heard on the golf course. The 20 best lines from W1A “I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time. zwRI- referrerpolicy=origin target=_blank>See full list on parade. Steal these classic one-liner jokes in our collection of the best one-liner jokes from experts in funny like Milton. One liner tags: puns. And Im like [laughing] No, you go ahead and jack off the dog, he follows me around too much as it is. Aug 22, 2022. She got her looks from her father. 105 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds “My phone will ring at 2am and my wife’ll look at me and go, “Who’s that calling at this time?” I say, “I don’t know. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any. “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. ] [Jerry Seinfeld uses this technique. “Caddie told me it was a 5 iron to clear the water on a par 3, I. What are some of the best one liners you have ever heard? Try these on for size: a collection of our favorite gags from some of the worlds greatest comedians. 25 hilarious dad jokes that will make you laugh and groan. 40 Of Probably The Best One-Liner Jokes Ever. ” – Milton Jones “I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim. Now get ready to make some memories filled with laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes! What falls, but never needs a bandage? The rain. ” (Long pause) Golfer B: “Yeahhow ‘bout YOU take it?” — @JerryLouLooper ————————- 41. My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo A magician was going down a road and turned into a driveway How long is a Chinese name Last week a hypnotist convinced me that. 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They are separated into three sub-layers called the dura mater, the arachnoid mater, and the pia mater. I was involved in very organised crime. Some of the best one-liner comedians include Milton Jones, Shappi Khorsandi, Jimmy Carr, Tim Vine and Steven. 148 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny. There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Funny Medical Jokes?>Can You Handle These 65 Ridiculously Funny Medical Jokes?.